Victim Shaming.

For some reason, I had heard very little about the Steubenville, Ohio rape case before this morning. It wasn't until I saw a status update on Facebook that I decided to research it a little more. From what I had heard within the eleven or twelve hours between when I first read about it and now, a sixteen year old girl had been raped by two high school boys and the media was doing its best to make the rapists seem like the victims.

I really didn't think people could be that stupid. The rapists are suddenly the victims? Come on now. So I used the handy dandy Google to look into it. Literally the first article that came up was from CNN, the news network that was being bashed on Facebook for victimizing the rapists. You can read it here.

The story I got from this article was really close to the one from earlier, it just filled in some of the details. There was a sixteen year old girl who got really drunk at an end of summer party in August. Somehow these two football players got a hold of her and violated her in some way. Pictures were taken, some of it was recorded on people phones, tweets were made.... it goes on and on. The two football players, Trent Mays and M'alik Richmond were found guilty of raping the girl.

First thing that popped into my head: It doesn't seem like they're trying to victimize the rapists.... I had heard that CNN had said that the girl had "ruined the lives of these promising boys," that they had had "such great futures ahead of them," and "so much to offer to society." This article (from CNN) said no such thing. Yes, the video included showed Richmond breaking down into tears in court while apologizing for his crime, but he said, "I would like to apologize to you. I had no intention to do anything like that, and I'm sorry to put you guys through this. I just want you to realize that I'm sorry. I know I ruined her life, for life" (1:43-2:10), not "She wanted it, she was dressed like she wanted it, she was drunk, she made me do it, its her fault and I'm the victim." It said nothing like that in the article or the video. In fact, included in the video was a statement made by Ohio Attorney General Mike Dewine. "There seems to be an unbelievable casualness about rape and about sex. Its a caviler attitude, a belief that somehow there isn't anything wrong with any of this." There is absolutely nothing ok about rape. Everything is wrong about it. It is a stripping of human dignity and pride, an assertion of power over the unwilling.

Second thing that popped into my head: They received very light sentences. Put together, they didn't even amount to five years in a juvenile facility. They raped a girl, they should be really, really punished! How is it that they only received one year and three years apiece? I've been sitting here thinking for about an hour now and I still cannot come up with a good excuse. They raped the girl. They performed a sexual act on her without her consent, while she was drunk and unconscious no less. And then they took pictures and videos and sent them around the internet. They tweeted and texted about it to their friends. This girl didn't ask for that to happen to her, I can't think of anyone that would. That is a scaring and hurtful thing. If I was in her position, I would want to literally pack up my things and move to a different state where nobody knew me and I could start fresh. Who gave those boys the right to humiliate her in such a horrible way? And it doesn't matter that they didn't actually have sexual intercourse with her, RAPE is RAPE. They VIOLATED her. She was UNCONSCIOUS. There was no CONSENT. That is RAPE.

Third thing that popped into my head: Mays is a straight up asshole. Instead of apologizing for RAPING the girl, he says, "No pictures should have been sent out, let alone taken." That wasn't the problem kiddo, you must have missed the point entirely. You raped someone, the pictures are nothing compared to that. Put this kid back in Pre-K, he needs to start over with life. He's got some serious common sense issues to sort through.

Fourth thing that popped into my head (and my heart): It's really sad that rape is even a problem. We should all have mutual respect and compassion for one another. We shouldn't have to put high school children in juvenile facilities because they decided it was ok to abuse another human being in such a disgusting way. That shouldn't be happening. Society has become so desensitized and cruel. It is not ok to rape people, and the fact that there needs to be some kind of reminder is unnerving. It should just be common sense.

If you've been raped, there are plenty of hotlines you can call for help, one of which is the National Sexual Assault Hotline (1-800-656-HOPE). Please, speak out and help raise awareness of rape and victim shaming. We shouldn't have to remind people to be decent human beings.